Catatonia.

the world within me is falling apart
and there is no one but me
on the mirror

it reflects my curse
with a tender smile

there is something
there is someone
there is me eating my innards

there is a little girl choking on her tears
waiting for someone to hold her

I cannot

I do not want to be a boy
I do not want to be a man

but

I cannot

be

a

woman

I cannot

feel

like

one

I
cannot
be

fear goes to my throat like acid and sugar
I cannot open up without overflowing

I am hurting
and my breath is bleeding out of my chest

but I am too scared to make a move

I cannot scream when pain is sitting on my lungs

so I wait
the little girl waits

I create this idea that I am having a bad dream
just a bad dream
and it will end
someday

but it is something I have made up

and I am not waking up